During a transitional life coaching session with a client a few days ago she shared that she is a recent widow and empty nester and feels lonely. I was able to relate as I know how I felt when I became an empty nester. It took some time for me to get used to it but now I appreciate it.
Our session prompted me to write this blog post. Especially considering that Valentines Day is coming up and many people may feel lonely. Though, often that feeling is based off memories and not an actual in the moment reality.
Most people try to stay clear of loneliness. Being alone, on the other hand, is an unavoidable aspect of existence. It happens to everyone at some point in their lives. To accept being alone, you must be able to distinguish solitude from loneliness and understand what is causing your feeling. The first step is to figure out why you have a fear of being alone. I hope these five tips can assist you.
- Work Out the Root Cause of Your Fear of Loneliness
Loneliness, according to some experts, is a basic feeling on par with fear and anger. Survival depended on being a part of a group for millions of years; being alone was dangerous. Fear of loneliness, on the other hand, might keep us in poisonous relationships, unfulfilling careers, and disastrous marriages. You can begin to work on your fear of loneliness once you've identified what's causing it.
- Learn to Understand Your Loneliness
Loneliness comes in a variety of forms. It can be temporary situational loneliness, where you are alone and have no one to aid you. You could also be going through a life crisis that causes you to become more socially isolated. A broken relationship, job loss, or significant illness can all make you feel entirely isolated from love and support.
- Appreciate Solitude
Loneliness is not the same thing as solitude. Throughout history, artists, philosophers, and writers have sought solitude in order to think deeply and broadly and to produce their finest work. In an overcrowded existence, solitude can be a welcome relief. When you're alone, you have the ability to expand into your genuine self.
- Confront Your Deepest Fears
Loneliness might be the result of a deep-seated fear of separation that dates back to childhood. Separation implies vulnerability, with no one to rely on except yourself. This is the loneliness that understands there is nothing between you and the stars, no one to save you in the end. That kind of existential dread can be terrifying. What are your most irrational anxieties about being alone? Recognize them and take away some of their power over you by identifying them.
- Use Self-Actualizing Practices to Overcome Loneliness
Yoga, tai chi, and meditation are some of the techniques that might help you reconnect with your true self. Meditation simply allows you to disconnect from the negative thought spirals and feelings that can make you feel so miserable.
A loving-kindness meditation practice can help you replace feelings of separation with feelings of love and connection. Give it a try:
Sit quietly and focus on your breath.
Breathe in, think ‘May I be happy.’
Breathe out, think ‘May I be loved.’
Breathe in, think ‘May all my suffering be healed.’
Breathe out, think ‘May I be at peace.’
Eventually, repeat the mantra, thinking of people who may be lonely at this time, replacing ‘I’ with ‘you.’
Finish by sending positive thoughts to all beings and repeating ‘May all beings be happy. May all beings be loved. May the suffering of all beings be healed. May all beings be at peace.’
This simple practice helps you feel connected to all of life whenever you do it.
I hope this information will assist you. If you are feeling lonely or struggling with any other transitional area of your life schedule a life coach session with me. Click here to schedule